not so good moments

Ever have a moment when you have thought, "I just ruined my child. He is going to remember this and hold it against me forever"?
If not, good for you.
I'm not so lucky.
This very thought ran through my mind about 100 times yesterday afternoon.
We had a horrible 45 minutes during our day.
Like, really horrible.

So we begin...

Judah was supposed to be taking a nap, but decided he didn't want to. I pulled him out of his crib and we were playing around on my bed. Then, I had a bright idea. He's had quite a mop on his head for the last couple of weeks, and it's just getting poofier and poofier so I decided I would buzz him.

The logic being, it would occupy us both for awhile.
So goes bright idea #1.

He hates the clippers. Hates them. Probably because they sound like they are run by a diesel engine, but nevertheless, every time I turn them on he freaks out. I opted to hold him on my hip with my left hand and shave him with my right hand. This resulted in him clinging to me, screaming in my left ear, an uneven buzz and hair clippings everywhere.

So goes bright idea #2.
Put him in the bath tub.

He loves the bath and it calmed him down to be in there. I grabbed my scissors so I could trim around his ears while he was calm and sitting. This is usually the way he gets his hair cuts, so it's not out of our norm. Until...as I am trimming up around his ear, he makes a quick movement and I take off a piece of his ear skin. (it's okay to gasp. it was just as awful as it sounds)

Realizing what I had done, WE immediately started crying hysterically. I wrapped him in a towel and we cried together in his rocking chair as blood went down his cheek and onto my chest. He recovered much quicker than I did. I was a crying mess for a good 20 minutes. I felt so terrible.

So goes bright idea #3.

Lets get dressed.

Simple enough. I let him run around naked for a little bit (he loves it) knowing full well he would pee on my floor at least 3 times in 5 minutes (which he did do. 3 times), but I didn't care. I just wanted him to be happy. I went back to my room to change my blood stained shirt.

While putting on my shirt I saw this:

Yea.
Right on my bed where Judah and I had just been laying.
I, without thinking (as usual), screamed and started doing some horrible freaky dance in my bedroom. This resulted in Judah crying (again) and me ripping him up and putting him outside in a diaper and the first pair of shorts that I could find.
Also, I did what any mature married person would do and:
1. called Drew ,who was on his way home from work, telling him this was the worst hour of my life and he needed to get home now and rescue his bride and firstborn like some chivalrous hero.
2. allowed my mother who (by the grace of God) just randomly stopped by at this exact moment, to avenge me and take care of the spider while I stood down the hall way rendered useless and still doing my horribly freaky dance.
3. put Judah in his crib while he watched my dance and my mother look for the huge spider.
4. felt like a total moron.

When I told this story to my sister, she said, "Kyle, that's so not you."
Yeah. I know.
I never cry and jump and freaky dance like a little girl when I see a spider. But this one happened to be on MY bed , where I had just happened to be laying, after I had just traumatized my son and cut off part of his ear.
Seriously.

Give yourself a pat on the back if your day was a good day yesterday.
Here's to hoping today will go on with no traumatic experiences, all ears intact and no stinking spiders.
Amen.