beautiful, beautiful boy

one year ago, God showed me
no matter what my plans may be, no matter what i want, or think is best
that He will always be the one in charge.
i had plans for a home birth with a midwife. he would be delivered without medicine.
after he was delivered he would be put on my chest, into my arms, and he would know i was his mama.
we would take him home with us that day, and we would begin our life together.
not so.
he was delivered in a hospital, by a doctor, with medicine.

they wouldn't let me see him after he was born.

they took him from me before i had even seen his face.

it was 4 hours before i was able to see what my baby looked like, 15 hours before i knew what he felt like, and 6 days before i knew what it was like to have him home with us.

i hate this story. it still breaks my heart.

but he did come home, he did know i was his mama, and we learned that no matter what we want

God will always have his way.

Praise be to GOD.

one year ago, God gave me the most precious, wonderful, beautiful gift.

one year ago, this little guy came into my life and flipped me upside down,

and taught me to love in a way i didn't know i was capable of.

this boy changed me forever. thank God he did. really. thank you, God.

this little boy, who came out in such a perfect form, with the most lovely dark hair,

blue droopy eyes, and these amazing puffy lips...

more beautiful than i could have ever imagined

my little guy that i had memorized while in my belly.

my little guy who i would give anything for, do anything for
him...who i was so graciously picked to be his mom.
him...who completed areas of my life i didn't know i was missing

him.

my little Judah.

My beautiful boy.

"Beautiful,

Beautiful, beautiful,

Beautiful Boy,

Before you go to sleep,

Say a little prayer,

Every day in every way,

It's getting better and better,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,

To see you to come of age,

But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,

While your busy making other plans,

Beautiful,

Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy"
by John Lennon

I love you little Judah. Happy Birthday.

My very odd boy

Judah made off like a bandit on Christmas.

Drew and I agreed to buy him one gift and make him one gift.

That we did.

Our families, however, bought him oodles and oodles of toys.

He loves them.

But, his favorite things are.....

Cheap-o Wal Mart cooking utensils located in the bottom drawer in my kitchen.

He pulls open the drawer, puts the spatula and ladle in his hand,

and he's off!

He throws them down...

Only to pick them up again.

He walks around banging them together

oh

and all over any surface in sight

And...he eats with them.

I was warned about the boxes and wrapping  paper being the real hit for Christmas

and Birthdays.

Nobody warned me about my cooking utensils.

Wordless Wednesday

Boowa et Kwala

My mom and step dad help us with Judah

while Drew and I are at work.

Grandpa found the cutest little show online

and Judah just loves it.

It's Boowa and Kwala.

They are a bilingual dog and koala.

Their songs are in English and in French and

they are highly entertaining.

They don't pronounce most English words properly

- (i.e...skip is said "skeep"), which adds to the amusing factor.

Google it.

He thinks it's the best thing ever.

9 Months

photo courtesy of Andrea Coslett, fly on the wall photography

I love who you are growing into, baby boy.

You are such a joy.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Better Late?

This kid just kills me.

I spent our first weeks together trying to get him to take a binky.

He would not have it.

Every newborn loves a binky.

Not Judah.

I was his binky.

Looking back on it, I think it's sweet he preferred me.

At the time, it was anything but sweet.

So I am reorganizing his room, and happened across one of the 20 binkies I tried to force on him during his first weeks.

Just for fun, I give it to him.

HE TAKES IT.

You have got to be kidding me.

I sleep trained this kid at 3 months because he couldn't so much as fidget in his sleep without needing to nurse afterward.

He kept it in his mouth for over an hour.

What I wouldn't have killed for that when he was a newborn.

There is one perk....it puts a plug on all that drool!